2010 is about to close.. I can honestly say I am pretty stoked about that.. it has been an adventure for sure.. the highs and lows.. ups and downs..joy and sorrow..It started with a bang so I am hoping that it ends with one as well..
Last year I was enjoying NYE as the newly single woman, this year I am still enjoying the single status.. havent seemed to embrace the right person.. worthy of my time, energy, effort and love. Dont get me wrong.. I met a few nice guys.. but somewhere along the line.. the dreaded word was spoken.. and things suddenly change.. and we all know the word.. COMMITTMENT !
Maybe its just different because I went from married to dating.. who knows.. but at 30 I am not willing to waste too much time on all the wrong and unhealthy relationships.. otherwise I cvould have stayed married !
Change is approaching..2011 will be MUCH different. I am naming it and clamiming it.. I am ready for REAL happiness, and that is living for ME and MY children. I have set my goals for 2011 and ready to fulfill my accomplishments.. I am ready to do whats necessary to get the things out of life that I want.. For a long time, I have always been one to life the live other's envisioned for me.. well, I am done with that !
The last few months have been rough.. emotionally,mentally tiring.. somewhat exhausting. It was the first real Christmas as us 3. It was by far though a great Chrsitmas, we visited ( Tyler's ) family in PA and spend time with family here.. FAMILY is important ! Some great freiendships have come out of 2010.. some very hard to understand and explain, but there are those people who you just cant understand but yet it is so hard to let them walk out of your life.. I just have to believe that everything happens for a reason, even when we dont understand ! It has been a crazy year.. a divorce, turning 30, having a school age child,a move, work hours change, the ex getting engaged, but I have learned alot through each experience.. it either shook or shaped me.. but nothing will break me !
Andon and Torin are growing so quickly, time is flying by. Somedays I wish I could just stop the clock and enjoy one more moment of them being this age ! Somedays I simple want to be the mom that works part-time and gets more time with her kids.. Somedays I just want to scream and run away from motherhood because it overwhelms me after a long day of work.. but thank goodness for running and the gym, they are my Zoloft. I am blessed with these boys, they are my world. .. and one day it will all make sense to them.. just what life is all about... and the importance of priority vs options.
SO tomorrow starts a new year.. what are you looking forward to? I am looking forward to many NEW and EXCITING things, that will be VERY different from 2010. My kindness will not be mistaken for weakness. People will be rude,harsh and unkind.. but I will not allow that to be a part of my life anymore.. I want to surrounf myself with REAL people.. who have accepted me just as I am.. not trying to change me..
Fate decides who walks into our lives, we decide who shall stay or whom we allow to walk away.
Midnight waits..
