Fall is here, the cool mornings and brisk evenings..the sound of Andon sneezing every morning..September has been a month of peaks and valleys, excitement and disappointment..
The boys and I ventured to PA to visit family and friends, they hadn't seen some of them in over a year ( thanks be the their dad).. We had a great Labor Day ! Cookouts, pool, sun, family and friends.. I hadn't seen my sister in a long time, so it was nice to see her face..
Andon survived the first month of school, he has adapted well to the change from daycare to school. In one month I have seen so much growth in progress in my BIG boy..his vocabulary is incredible, his writing of sentences..he makes me so proud.He enjoys riding the bus to school, playing with his friends and learning.. Andon has lost his first tooth, it fell out while at school. He was so excited to bring it home and have the tooth fairy visit..due to inflation she brought him $2.00
Torin is enjoying daycare, he is learning so much too.. Starting to talk more and more.. Sometimes he rambles on and on, as though he is telling a story. He is intrigued by stinkbugs, he picks them up then throws them. He is 100% boy..He is the complete opposite of Andon, from his looks to his personality..
All good things must come to an end..so I have been told.. well, that great relationship ( I thought) I had with B.. well, it was one big lie..i was hurt and disappointed, but I know what I will and will not accept.. and lying will never go over well with me.. Trust is the hardest thing to gain, and the easiest thing to lose.. He gave me all the answers and I needed/wanted to hear, he did everything-- too good to be true..in the midst of that negative and chaotic ordeal.. I made a GREAT new friend, we have alot in common and I am glad to have met her ( thank you facebook).. Some old friendships have been rekindled, some news ones are growing..
It has been a very challenging year.. I have had my fair share of disappointments, some days I am not sure how I go on.. but when there is no choice.. you do what is REQUIRED of you.. and that is to be a mom.. and in that I know I must take care of myself first, to better take care of my boys.. My running has slacked off, my motivation has dwindled..but slowly things are falling back into place..I have made some decisions, to relocate to be closer to daycare/school and work.. just moving to the other side of town ( I hate Robinwood Dr).. Andon is transferring schools, to make life simple..I have spent time refelcting on life.. and wow..all that I dealt with in years past makes me see things NOW in a whole new light..I feel as though I am discovering me..the greatest privledge in life is being who YOU are, not who someone else wants you to be.
I'm pondering some other changes..I'd like to return to school, but it seems impossible with 2 little ones.. but if I don't do it now, than when? I have a fear of failure, I never like to start something and then quit.. I am fundraising for the Susan G.Komen 3 day walk, its been stressful..the economy has effected us all in one way of another..I'm dreading the holiday season, as it will be very different this year..I'm frustrated and angry with Mr.W.. my boys deserve so much more.. and at times its difficult to fill both roles as the mom and dad..
I am hoping that 2011 is much better than 2010..this was a year of growth in many ways.. I have no regrets -- everything happens for a reason, even when we don't understand why-...Sometimes I think that picking up and relocating somewhere new to start fresh would be ideal, to get away from the known and explore the unknown..Change is inevitable, and as much as I hate it.. this time its necessary..
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